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Sam Raimi is up there with my favourite directors, I like or love every film he has directed, except for Spiderman 3, and the problems with it, if rumors are to be believed, was more the studio’s fault than Raimi’s. His Evil Dead films (even Army of Darkness) where films I watched often as a teenager. People have been calling this his big return to horror, I enjoyed his last horror film The Gift quite a bit. Though I think people seen The Gift as more of a supernatural thriller. So going in to see Drag Me To Hell I was pretty hyped up on all the internet rumors that this was his first real return to the kind of horror film he practically invented. So after having watched it the one word that springs to mind is Goofy. This is much more Evil Dead 2 than Evil Dead.

After a short prologue we are introduced to Christine, a loans officer desperate to get an assistant manager promotion.The boss off the bank (David Paymer) makes it clear to her that she needs to take a tougher line with customers if she is to gain the promotion over a sleazy coworker, so when an old Slavic gypsy (Lorna Raver,Excellent!) requests an extension on her loan, Christine denies it even though the woman begs her. The woman believes Christine has shamed her, and as security leads her away, she attempts to attack her, leaving her shaken.

While leaving work that evening Christine is attacked in her car by the old woman. This sequence sets the tone for the rest of the film. Raimi builds up to the attack, racking up the tension to boiling point (Brilliantly using a hankerchief!), and then when the actual attack happens it’s played more for laughs than horror. It involves a pair of false teeth, a ruler in the troat, hair being pulled out and copious amounts of saliva, and by the time its over you’ve went from being scared to having a gleeful smile on your face. The Gypsy then disappears after having put a curse on an item belonging to the hapless victim.

Ram Jhas a psychic whom Christine visits tells her that she has been cursed, and for three days she will be tormented by a Demon and then on the fourth day dragged to hell. That’s the plot in a nutshell, and while most films may suffer from a lack of plot, Drag Me To Hell uses it to its advantage.Instead of having sequence after sequence of horror cliches and mumbo jumbo Raimi just gets on with giving us sequence after sequence of Christine being tormented. Alison Lohman, taking the role originally earmarked for Ellen Page, is unbearably cute, she takes a serious beating in this film, much in the same way Bruce (The Chin) Campbell took anything thrown at him in the Evil Dead Movies. She gets maggots vomited on her face, tossed about like a wet lettuce, a fist in her throat, projectile nosebleeding and in a horror first, chokes on embalming fluid. Believe me when I say its easy to feel sorry for her.

To give any more away would be unfair. Part of the enjoyment of the film is seeing what Raimi will pull out next. He is on top form here, employing all the camera tricks in his bag, facial close ups, focus pulls, and at times the camera appears to be on a bungie cord. Other director’s should take note of how Raimi keeps the lights on during intense scenes, when the lights are on and there’s nowhere to hide IMO it’s scarier. Drag me to Hell may not do anything particuarlly new in the genre, but with Raimi at the helm it fells fresh. Even small moments are given an interesting twist, a scene involving a fly springs to mind, and he gives us the best Sceance I can remember seeing on film. There are faults, some of the comedy doesnt work, Christine’s boyfriend (Justin Long) is a total wet blanket, and the end twist is signposted so easily that anyone in the cinema paying attention will see it coming long before the end, though to the filmaker’s credit the twist isnt a cop out.

I have to give special mention to the sound design which is incredible, if anything Drag Me To Hell is a masterpiece in this respect, the sound builds to almost unbearable hieghts at times and whilst in other horror movies it is used as a gimmick, here it has an actual purpose, we all know that when we are scared the slightest noise seems amplified, and to coin a phrase Raimi turns it up to 11. Christopher Young’s music score compliments the sound to great effect. Production design and Effects are top notch.

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

A return to form for one of the masters of the genre, and the most entertaining horror film in a long time. Some horror fans will complain that it’s funny when it should be scary, and they may have a point, though one I wouldnt agree with, as the laugh’s are intentional. Fun, Scary and destined to be a cult favourite. 

Four Stars (out of five)

Easter Egg: The car the Gypsy drives is Ash’s car from The Evil Dead Movies. I didnt notice a Bruce Campbell cameo but he could be in there somewhere.

This thought provoking drama was a frontrunner at this years Oscars, and its easy to see why. It has great performances, is well directed and the production values are excellent, so was it worthy to be an Oscar contender? .Well not quite, I think there where better films not nominated, but that’s not to say this isn’t a good movie, it is.

Kate Winslet plays Hannah Schmitz a German tram ticket collector, who one day helps a sick teenage boy called Michael (David Kross) home. This leads to the two having an affair. Michael falls in love with the older experienced woman and Hanna appears lonely and in need of company. During their time together Michael reads books to Hanna, and it is at these moments when Hanna seems happiest, able to escape her boring mundane life. Only the truth of what she is trying to escape is much worse.

Inevitably the relationship breaks down, a few years later whilst attending law school, Edward discovers the truth to Hannah’s mood swings and strange behavior. On a trip to a court session, for the trial of German citizens involved in atrocities during the second world war he discover’s Hannah is one of the accused. During the war she worked at processing station, and was often responsible for choosing who would go to Aushwitz. She faces spending the rest of her life in prison, but Michael holds the key to her release, with information she is to ashamed to admit to the court. The film is intercut with sequences of the elder Michael (Ralph Fiennes) as a man who bears a great wieght on his shoulders, and a lifetime of regret.

This is an interesting story and very well told. The only real issue I have with the film is that it left me cold. I think this is mainly due to the fact that Hanna Schmitz is a hard character to like. We never learn a great deal of what she was like before the war, was she a Nazi sympathiser or simply a victim of circumstance. We are lead to believe she took the job as a guard as a career step, though if she really knew what went on, why didnt she get out of it somehow. It makes it hard to sympathise with her plight and the way in which she releases herself from it. This is no fault of Kate Winslet’s performance, which is excellent (even in dodgy old age make-up). Its much easier to sympathise with Michael, a young boy who fell in love, had his heart broken and has never really been able to have another loving relationship as a result (he has a failed marriage and a teenage daughter he barely see’s).

SUMMING IT ALL UP

A well crafted, interesting drama about a difficult subject, yet one that should be addressed.Its hard to recommend The Reader as entertainment, but if your in the mood for a thought provoking drama it will give you plenty to think about.

Trailer for the new Bruce Willis Sci-Fi Film Surrogates, directed by Jonathan Mostow who gave us Breakdown, U571 and more recently Terminator 3:Rise of the Machines. This has serious I-Robot vibe going on, and features another Bruce Willis comedy hairpiece.

SURROGATES trailer in HD

It appears that we will finally get a look at James Cameron’s long awaited Sci-Fi epic Avatar. the trailer will be attached to The new Transformers film Revenge of the Fallen when it is released on 24th of June.

Reports say the trailer will last 2 Minutes 41 Seconds so we should get our first clear idea of what Avatar is actually about, as up until now all the information that has been released reads as follows.

“In the future, Jake, a paraplegic war veteran is brought to another planet, Pandora, which is inhabited by the Na’vi, a humanoid race with their own language and culture. Those from Earth find themselves at odds with each other and the local culture”.

Footage from the new Batman Game, Arkham Asylum

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The trailer for Mega Shark, VS Giant Octopus was released about a week ago and led fanboys and geeks to believe this could be one of those rare movies that was so bad it could be good. I was one of them. I thought at the very least I would be entertained by its “intentional” badness. It saddens me to report that it isnt one of those movies, Its just downright Fucking Awful from start to finish.

Film opens with what are clearly some rather inexpensive stock shots of snowy mountains intercut with some rather inexpensive stock shots of the sea.This is where we meet our heroine, who’s name I can’t remember, but is played by Debbie Gibson(or is known here as Deborah Gibson). I vaguely remember here from the 80’s and she’s holding up well in the looks department.Theres a continuity error here as Debbies hands seem to be played by someone other than herself.Everytime we see a shot of her hitting controls buttons the hands have black nail polish on them yet Debbie quite clearly has no nail polish on in the other shots. Debbies hands are quite small, so maybe they wern’t cinematic enough for the technical know how they where trying to convey in these shots.

Debbie and her mate are watching whales in their bad CGI sub when shit starts to hit the fan.A helicopter above them has dropped some sort of sonic wave thingy. Note that we never actually see said helicopter flying over the water, it was probably footage shot at a local airfield on open day.The sonic wave thingy makes the whales swim into an ice shelf and release Mega Shark VS Giant Octopus!!!!! and the helicopter (now a bad CGI helicopter) for some reason left unexplained crashes into the ice shelf to, maybe it was a suicide mission, fuck knows.

There’s a giant octopus attack around this time on an oil platform in China, only its obviously not an oil platform in the close ups, but an oil refinery, same location I could swear is used for other locations only shot from a different angle and time of day.

Back on dry land and whales and other marine life are turning up Tatey Bread on beaches.(Lookout for a cameo from the Men in Black in this scene).Debbie steals evidence from one of these sites and runs tests on it to determine it is in fact a tooth. I would have thought the fact it was imbedded in another animal and looks like a fucking giant tooth would have been evidence enough, but no we get a miniscule budget CSI style musical montage of her and her old professor doing tests on it. Her professor is Irish, so guess what he’s called? Finbar? Donal? Padraig? Nope none of the above he’s called Lemar.Now seriously who the fuck ever heard of an Irishman called Lemar. To the actor playing him’s credit he actual does appear to be Irish, maybe they spent the budget getting a real Irishman cause fuck knows they didnt spend it anywhere else. He also appears to be drunk all the time as well.

Mega Shark attacks a passenger jet around this time, it appears he has the ability to jump 40,000 feet out of the water. I would have thought the impact on landing would kill him but this point is never addressed.

Our team of scientists have now discovered the shark is a prehistoric Megaladon (A quick Google reveals this shark actually existed). I dont think the Giant Octopus is ever explained, if it is, I must have missed it, this is one of those movies you don’t pause when you go for a piss.

A Chinese scientist joins the team to help figure out a way to beat the two giant animals.Though his main purpose is to spout inane dialogue about how its all retribution for global warming.This dude and Debbie get jiggy with it in a storeroom and this leads to them believing the key to beating Mega Shark VS Giant Octopus is pheromones, cause according to the Chinese dude “smell is the most powerful form of attraction”. By this theory he must smell like a million dollars cause he’s no looker. So the theory is to use pheromones to attract them to a certain spot in the ocean where they will then fight each other.

Cue Lorenzo Lamas of Renegade and Falcon Crest “fame” as the General leading the operation. He looks more like a member of the mob than a general. He acts over the top in I guess an attempt to be funny, but its just painful and embarrasing to watch. This guy is a total non actor. If he had a blowtorch held to his testicles he would still have trouble acting terrified. They put the plan in motion but it all goes tits up and in the films “Money Shot” the Mega Shark takes a bite out of the Golden Gate Bridge.

Look out for the US navy ship set. Its used twice as two different US ships and once as a Chinese submarine, although they at least light it differently when its meant to be the Chinese Sub.So anyway it all culminates out at sea and after 75 minutes of celluloid diarrehea we finally get the Main Event……Mega Shark VS Giant Octopus. Was it worth the wait????……Fuck no.

When they finally fight it looks more like some kind of bizarre mating ritual.They bump into each other a bit and then it appears that the Giant Octopus is humping Mega Shark. Maybe high on all those Pheromones he is trying to fuck him to death with a Giant Octopus Penis. Anyway they both die and everyone cheers in one of the most fake “we saved the world” cheering scenes ever.

The Director, Ace Hannah is actually called Jack Perez and probably would like people to think he changed it so as it sounded more B-Movie esque.The truth is more likely, that he was probably mortified by what he had created and wanted to distance himself from it ALA Alan Smithee.Special mention should go to the Special Effects……they are complete and utter garbage, Ed Wood would have laughed at these effects, and the company responsible for them is called Tiny Juggernaut. According to their Website they are an award winning group of Artists…I think somebody will be looking their awards back.

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW

Some people will no doubt argue i have missed the point, that its meant to be stupid.Thats fine if the final film is in anyway entertaining, and by fuck this aint. The trailer promised so little, yet so much, its sad to have to say that Mega Shark, VS Giant Octopus is a DTV stinker and not even so bad its good.Everyone involved should be thoroughly ashamed and struck off the Screen Actors/Directors guild. Only watch if your a Cinematic Sado Masochist.

The first trailer for The Road has been released. Based on the novel by Cormac McCarthy who also provided the source material for the Oscar winning No Country For Old Men. Starring Viggo Mortensen and Charlize Theron and directed by John Hillcoat, who made the excellent The Proposition, the movie has had a troubled path into cinema’s, though now has a firm release date in October.

 

Brand spankin new 5 minute terminator salvation clip. Very cool but maybe they are showing to many clips of the film before release. About 15 minutes worth of footage is now available online.

This is the same trailer that was released a few days ago,only with the Alien uncensored. Looks great, really interested in this one.